"They say you can't turn a bad girl good, but once a good girl's gone bad, she's gone forever" Jay-Z
I've noticed plenty of women recite this quote or adopt a Good Girl Gone Bad attitude after suffering from a broken heart. A Good Girl Gone Bad turns cold to all men, after being hurt by one or more. Women who take on this persona put up a guard in order to protect their heart, not realizing that they're blocking everybody out, including a potentially good man. Those who have experienced a broken-heart can attest that the feeling is unexplainable and it hurts so much so that after-wards you try to avoid going through the same situation again.
Even though the feeling cuts deep, with each broken heart and failed relationship you should take something from it. Just because the experience was bad doesn't mean that good can't be a result of it. Your experience may teach you some things about yourself that you never knew before. Maybe you thought you wanted a certain type of man and come to the realization that you don't, or maybe you'll have an epiphany and learn that you're not ready for the responsibility that comes along with a relationship. Whatever your situation--good or bad, you shouldn't allow it to change you for the worse.
A lot of times when a woman is hurt by a man she becomes bitter and takes on the mindset that all men are the same. She's standoffish when other men try to approach her, thinking they have the same agenda as the last. She doesn't want to see her friends who are in good relationships happy. Her comments concerning men are negative and she may even deliberately try to hurt the new man that she allows into her life. She attempts to make all men pay for one man's mistakes, oblivious to the fact that this kind of behavior is toxic,it doesn't do any good and it only causes more hurt.
I understand that because we're different, individually we wont handle things the same, but when you allow for one person from your past to dictate your future then it's a problem. I know that losing someone you love or having a relationship that you put your all into fail, is going to affect you in one way or another. I understand that after situations like these there will be a grieving period. I don't expect for anybody to be happy after a broken heart or ecstatic cause their man left them, that's not realistic. What's unrealistic is thinking that you're going to go through life without having your feelings hurt, or your heart broken--it happens. These experiences are apart of life and they're meant to shape, not handicap you.
In the end, when you let fear that stems from a broken heart hinder you from meeting what you truly deserve, you're only hurting yourself. Shutting yourself off from love isn't paying back the man who cheated on you, did you wrong, or abused you. He has moved on while you're stuck in the past allowing him to control your happiness in the present. Bad things happen to good women all the time and it's not meant to turn them into "Bad Girls" but stronger women. Take it as a lesson learned and allow for those memories to be just that--memories.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Share A Smile With Your Sistas
You know what really gets under my skin? The cattiness that goes on between Sistas. The constant put downs, the angry stares, the fights, the gossip, the competing over men; it literally makes me wince. I mean, why are we always at each other’s throats? It’s like we lost a sense of sisterhood, and it makes me wonder where the hate stems from. Naturally, we’re built to love and nurture, but we somehow developed this hard outer shell to protect us from the constant barrage of attacks and criticism that we receive from society. We put a guard up to block out the hate and in return, block out each other. We are use to being on the chopping block, so we cut everybody out, including our fellow Sistas. A lot of times, we judge each other because we expect to be judged.
Many Sistas are raised in single parent homes and in result, are taught from day one to be independent. We are fed depressing statistics that tell us that we’re more prone to not get married due to the incarceration of our men, our men being gay, or our men converting over to a different race of women because of the negative stereotypes associated with Sistas. From birth, we’re raised with a mindset that we aren’t entitled to the joys of life like a husband, or a loving mate. We’re basically put under the assumption that we must fight and compete because our chances at happiness are slim to none. Well, I’m here to inform you that all of this is a lie. We don’t have to beat each other down in order to rise up. Instead of competing with one another, we need to band together and discourage others from partaking in the negativity and scrutiny of the Sista.
If you take a close look at how society views the Sista, it’s quite disturbing. If we aren’t being sexually exploited, we’re having multiple babies. If we aren’t fighting, we are being loud and aggressive; telling somebody off. The image of the Sista in society and the media is harsh, and I find myself always battling to break away from these negative connotations. Even though I do know a few Sistas that fit some of these stereotypes, we are uniquely different. Sistas come in different shades and personalities, and that’s what makes us all beautiful.
We need to come together and work systematically to help repair the image of the Sista. Instead of contending against each other, let’s be more encouraging and supportive because we can relate to one another. I’m not saying you have to become best friends with every Sista you come across, but it’s not going to kill you to be friendly. The next time you come across a Sista, share a smile with her, even if she doesn’t return the gesture. At least you tried, and maybe the next Sista will.
You know what really gets under my skin? The cattiness that goes on between Sistas. The constant put downs, the angry stares, the fights, the gossip, the competing over men; it literally makes me wince. I mean, why are we always at each other’s throats? It’s like we lost a sense of sisterhood, and it makes me wonder where the hate stems from. Naturally, we’re built to love and nurture, but we somehow developed this hard outer shell to protect us from the constant barrage of attacks and criticism that we receive from society. We put a guard up to block out the hate and in return, block out each other. We are use to being on the chopping block, so we cut everybody out, including our fellow Sistas. A lot of times, we judge each other because we expect to be judged.
Many Sistas are raised in single parent homes and in result, are taught from day one to be independent. We are fed depressing statistics that tell us that we’re more prone to not get married due to the incarceration of our men, our men being gay, or our men converting over to a different race of women because of the negative stereotypes associated with Sistas. From birth, we’re raised with a mindset that we aren’t entitled to the joys of life like a husband, or a loving mate. We’re basically put under the assumption that we must fight and compete because our chances at happiness are slim to none. Well, I’m here to inform you that all of this is a lie. We don’t have to beat each other down in order to rise up. Instead of competing with one another, we need to band together and discourage others from partaking in the negativity and scrutiny of the Sista.
If you take a close look at how society views the Sista, it’s quite disturbing. If we aren’t being sexually exploited, we’re having multiple babies. If we aren’t fighting, we are being loud and aggressive; telling somebody off. The image of the Sista in society and the media is harsh, and I find myself always battling to break away from these negative connotations. Even though I do know a few Sistas that fit some of these stereotypes, we are uniquely different. Sistas come in different shades and personalities, and that’s what makes us all beautiful.
We need to come together and work systematically to help repair the image of the Sista. Instead of contending against each other, let’s be more encouraging and supportive because we can relate to one another. I’m not saying you have to become best friends with every Sista you come across, but it’s not going to kill you to be friendly. The next time you come across a Sista, share a smile with her, even if she doesn’t return the gesture. At least you tried, and maybe the next Sista will.
Monday, September 13, 2010
But I Love Him: Logic vs Matters of the Heart
"But I love him," How many times have you heard this line or uttered these words yourself? I've known plenty of women who have proclaimed this statement, as if loving someone was enough and everything would somehow be okay because of that. Ladies, know that just because you love a man doesn't mean you have to look like a fool doing so. If a man is disrespecting you, isn't giving you what you need, constantly cheating, verbally or physically abusive; you need to let go and move on. Whatever the case may be, if he isn't treating you right, loving him doesn't mean a thing. If anything, loving yourself should mean more, and getting out of the situation could be the difference between stress and happiness.
Don't ever for a second focus all of your energy into making something work if you're the only person putting forth effort. Relationships do not work on their own, there needs to be two willing individuals making the proper strides toward moving forward. Pleading, begging, praying, hoping-- It all doesn't matter if it isn't meant to be. A lot of times we like to think that we're Super Woman and have the special ability to change a man, or make someone love us. We think, well maybe if I try harder or give him more time he will come around and see that I'm good for him OR, I am the one he needs, when in reality YOU need to realize that he's not good for you.
When you meet the right one, you won't be in a constant battle trying to make him see that you're a good woman, it will flow naturally. Yes, it's true that relationships take work, but when you're always facing road blocks then maybe that's a sign that it's not meant to be. Think about it, do you really want to continuously be at war with your significant other, trying to prove yourself? That's too much headache. You can have all the love in the world, but if he doesn't feel the same, then it won't work.
Some women pray and ask for signs that will point them in the right direction, when all along there were red flags telling them to leave; they were just too blind in the relationship that they couldn't see the obvious. If you're asking for guidance in a situation but aren't being open or receptive to actually noticing and facing the truth, then you won't get or realize it.Falling/being in love is a beautiful thing when it's true and pure. We all seek and hope to find real love, and sometimes get caught up in the idea so much so, that we allow ourselves to be a fool for it. In love you have to use both your head and your heart. Don't allow yourself to be so wrapped up in the notion that you aren't thinking logically and making all the wrong choices. At the end of the day, you have to make the best decisions for you, because nine times out of ten he's going to make the decision that will benefit him the most.
See everything for what it is, evaluate it at face value. If you have a man that's not invested in your relationship, realize that. Don't focus too much on potential, because when you do, you risk being disappointed. We like to see the "potential" in a person, when in reality we should concentrate on the NOW. Well right now he's not faithful, so why think that potentially he will be in the future? You cannot afford to place bets at the expense of your heart. Time is precious and each day that you waste with the wrong man, can be better spent making room for the right one. Many different people can give you advice, but ultimately it's up to you to take it. Yes moving on and starting new can be scary and challenging, but once you finally arrive at that place of calm, you will see that you've made the right choice. Remember that each heartache and experience is another lesson learned. It's meant to make you wiser, so allow yourself to grow from it. Think logically, when it comes to matters of the heart.
Don't ever for a second focus all of your energy into making something work if you're the only person putting forth effort. Relationships do not work on their own, there needs to be two willing individuals making the proper strides toward moving forward. Pleading, begging, praying, hoping-- It all doesn't matter if it isn't meant to be. A lot of times we like to think that we're Super Woman and have the special ability to change a man, or make someone love us. We think, well maybe if I try harder or give him more time he will come around and see that I'm good for him OR, I am the one he needs, when in reality YOU need to realize that he's not good for you.
When you meet the right one, you won't be in a constant battle trying to make him see that you're a good woman, it will flow naturally. Yes, it's true that relationships take work, but when you're always facing road blocks then maybe that's a sign that it's not meant to be. Think about it, do you really want to continuously be at war with your significant other, trying to prove yourself? That's too much headache. You can have all the love in the world, but if he doesn't feel the same, then it won't work.
Some women pray and ask for signs that will point them in the right direction, when all along there were red flags telling them to leave; they were just too blind in the relationship that they couldn't see the obvious. If you're asking for guidance in a situation but aren't being open or receptive to actually noticing and facing the truth, then you won't get or realize it.Falling/being in love is a beautiful thing when it's true and pure. We all seek and hope to find real love, and sometimes get caught up in the idea so much so, that we allow ourselves to be a fool for it. In love you have to use both your head and your heart. Don't allow yourself to be so wrapped up in the notion that you aren't thinking logically and making all the wrong choices. At the end of the day, you have to make the best decisions for you, because nine times out of ten he's going to make the decision that will benefit him the most.
See everything for what it is, evaluate it at face value. If you have a man that's not invested in your relationship, realize that. Don't focus too much on potential, because when you do, you risk being disappointed. We like to see the "potential" in a person, when in reality we should concentrate on the NOW. Well right now he's not faithful, so why think that potentially he will be in the future? You cannot afford to place bets at the expense of your heart. Time is precious and each day that you waste with the wrong man, can be better spent making room for the right one. Many different people can give you advice, but ultimately it's up to you to take it. Yes moving on and starting new can be scary and challenging, but once you finally arrive at that place of calm, you will see that you've made the right choice. Remember that each heartache and experience is another lesson learned. It's meant to make you wiser, so allow yourself to grow from it. Think logically, when it comes to matters of the heart.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Is He Your Mr. Right, or Mr. Right Now?
As I make my way to work, I pop in my all time favorite Neo Soul Crooner Raheem Devaughn’s newest CD, The Love and War Masterpeace. His soulful sexy voice eases my mind, takes me to a place of calm. I roll my windows down allowing the sun to kiss my skin and summer breeze to make its way into my vehicle. I immediately change the CD player to track number six, Mr. Right. I absolutely love this song, the topic of a Mr. Right always seem to dominate the conversations I have with my girlfriends whenever we have girl talk. What is a Mr. Right? What qualities will he possess? When will we meet him? All questions we raise as we joke and toy with the idea. Surely we aren’t psychics and can’t foretell when we’ll meet Mr. Right, but we all have an idea of the qualities we find ideal in a man.
We agreed that maybe a time or two we thought we met our Mr. Right, but he ended up turning into Mr. Right now. You know, that guy who isn’t exactly Mr. Right, but he’ll do. Even though Mr. Right Now fills a void, he doesn’t have all the characteristics you want in a long time partner. I mean yeah you don’t like the fact that he smokes, or that he doesn’t believe in marriage, or that his life seems to be all over the place, but he holds you at night. He may not even be consistent in his pursuit with you, but he gives just enough to hold you over. He compliments you, but never really takes the time to get to know your inner beauty. Mr. Right Now provides temporary satisfaction to a long term need, and in the end will always leave you unsatisfied, wanting more.
Mr. Right is ultimately the man of your dreams. He isn’t perfect, but the things you don’t like about him aren’t deal breakers. You can deal with the fact that he’s a little messy, or that he doesn’t put the toilet seat down when he’s finished. Even though he has small things that sometimes get under your skin, who he is as a person outshines those flaws. Mr. Right is the guy who you can see yourself marrying, and he differs from Mr. Right Now, because of that. Mr. Right, treats you like he sees a future with you, he includes you in his life and makes it clear that he wants to be with you. Mr. Right does not leaving you guessing if he’s into you, you’ll know because it will show.
In your lifetime you will meet plenty of guys, the challenge will be determining if he is a Mr. Right, or a Mr. Right Now. Below are some signs to look for that can indicate if he is a Mr. Right Now:
Your Long Term Goals Aren’t Compatible
You want a family, but he doesn’t want any children. You want to get married one day, but he doesn’t believe in marriage. You want your man to be a Christian, but he’s atheist. With Mr. Right Now, the major qualities that you want your future husband to possess, he lacks. His wants and your wants do not match up and down the road they can prove to be deal breakers and cause your relationship to end. Getting involved with a Mr. Right Now and waiting for him to change into Mr. Right, is risky.
You’re Always Wanting More
The fact that Mr. Right Now doesn’t have all the qualities you want in a mate, leaves you unsatisfied. You complain and nag about the things that he lacks, but you knew what he was about when you met him. Don’t accept less, and then expect more. People do change, but on their own terms and time. If you know you’re the kind of woman that wants a man that can afford a certain life style, don’t date a guy making minimum wage and then complain that he’s not making enough. My point is, know what you’re looking for, know what you’ll accept and can live with, it’ll save you a lot of headache down the road.
He’s Not Serious
Mr. Right Now will treat you like you’re his Mrs. Right Now, meaning he won’t truly invest in your relationship. Relationships take time, commitment and effort from both partners and it will not work without these essentials. If he doesn’t show sincere concern about the direction your relationship is heading in, then he’s not serious. If he’s always too busy or has an excuse for every little thing, then he’s not serious. If ever a problem arises and he’s not ready to compromise and make the necessary sacrifices that will help your relationship work, then he’s not serious.
He Doesn’t Mention You in His Future
If a man is serious about your relationship going the distance, he’ll verbalize these feelings. If he doesn’t mention you in his future plans, then there’s a good chance that you aren’t included in them. When a man is dedicated in a relationship, he’ll communicate it verbally and reinforce it with action. Mr. Right acquires many characteristics that set him apart from Mr. Right Now, one evident characteristic being that he has longevity. Mr. Right invests in the relationship, in order to ensure that it lasts. Mr. Right Now is a temporary fixture and therefore he doesn’t have a reason to think about the future.
Ladies, in the end you’re going to have to determine what you want and need in a man. Weeding out the good guys from the bad is not an easy task. First you have to figure out what you like, before you can seek it. You have to assess what you will and will not put up with in a relationship, and know your stance on the qualities you’re willing to bend on, and the ones that will prove to be deal breakers. Before you devote your time, love, and energy into a man get to know him, find out if he’s truly right for you, because if he isn’t time will tell. Trust me when I say, you deserve all the love and attention your real Mr. Right will give, once he finds you.
We agreed that maybe a time or two we thought we met our Mr. Right, but he ended up turning into Mr. Right now. You know, that guy who isn’t exactly Mr. Right, but he’ll do. Even though Mr. Right Now fills a void, he doesn’t have all the characteristics you want in a long time partner. I mean yeah you don’t like the fact that he smokes, or that he doesn’t believe in marriage, or that his life seems to be all over the place, but he holds you at night. He may not even be consistent in his pursuit with you, but he gives just enough to hold you over. He compliments you, but never really takes the time to get to know your inner beauty. Mr. Right Now provides temporary satisfaction to a long term need, and in the end will always leave you unsatisfied, wanting more.
Mr. Right is ultimately the man of your dreams. He isn’t perfect, but the things you don’t like about him aren’t deal breakers. You can deal with the fact that he’s a little messy, or that he doesn’t put the toilet seat down when he’s finished. Even though he has small things that sometimes get under your skin, who he is as a person outshines those flaws. Mr. Right is the guy who you can see yourself marrying, and he differs from Mr. Right Now, because of that. Mr. Right, treats you like he sees a future with you, he includes you in his life and makes it clear that he wants to be with you. Mr. Right does not leaving you guessing if he’s into you, you’ll know because it will show.
In your lifetime you will meet plenty of guys, the challenge will be determining if he is a Mr. Right, or a Mr. Right Now. Below are some signs to look for that can indicate if he is a Mr. Right Now:
Your Long Term Goals Aren’t Compatible
You want a family, but he doesn’t want any children. You want to get married one day, but he doesn’t believe in marriage. You want your man to be a Christian, but he’s atheist. With Mr. Right Now, the major qualities that you want your future husband to possess, he lacks. His wants and your wants do not match up and down the road they can prove to be deal breakers and cause your relationship to end. Getting involved with a Mr. Right Now and waiting for him to change into Mr. Right, is risky.
You’re Always Wanting More
The fact that Mr. Right Now doesn’t have all the qualities you want in a mate, leaves you unsatisfied. You complain and nag about the things that he lacks, but you knew what he was about when you met him. Don’t accept less, and then expect more. People do change, but on their own terms and time. If you know you’re the kind of woman that wants a man that can afford a certain life style, don’t date a guy making minimum wage and then complain that he’s not making enough. My point is, know what you’re looking for, know what you’ll accept and can live with, it’ll save you a lot of headache down the road.
He’s Not Serious
Mr. Right Now will treat you like you’re his Mrs. Right Now, meaning he won’t truly invest in your relationship. Relationships take time, commitment and effort from both partners and it will not work without these essentials. If he doesn’t show sincere concern about the direction your relationship is heading in, then he’s not serious. If he’s always too busy or has an excuse for every little thing, then he’s not serious. If ever a problem arises and he’s not ready to compromise and make the necessary sacrifices that will help your relationship work, then he’s not serious.
He Doesn’t Mention You in His Future
If a man is serious about your relationship going the distance, he’ll verbalize these feelings. If he doesn’t mention you in his future plans, then there’s a good chance that you aren’t included in them. When a man is dedicated in a relationship, he’ll communicate it verbally and reinforce it with action. Mr. Right acquires many characteristics that set him apart from Mr. Right Now, one evident characteristic being that he has longevity. Mr. Right invests in the relationship, in order to ensure that it lasts. Mr. Right Now is a temporary fixture and therefore he doesn’t have a reason to think about the future.
Ladies, in the end you’re going to have to determine what you want and need in a man. Weeding out the good guys from the bad is not an easy task. First you have to figure out what you like, before you can seek it. You have to assess what you will and will not put up with in a relationship, and know your stance on the qualities you’re willing to bend on, and the ones that will prove to be deal breakers. Before you devote your time, love, and energy into a man get to know him, find out if he’s truly right for you, because if he isn’t time will tell. Trust me when I say, you deserve all the love and attention your real Mr. Right will give, once he finds you.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Grow Through What You Go Through
Lauryn Hill said it best " And life squeezes so tight that I can't breathe," How true is that? How many times have you gotten so fed up with things, nothing seemed to go right but everything seemed to go wrong? Someone pissed you off, did something to hurt you, tried to break your spirit, how many times have you felt like so much was going wayward in your life that you didn't know what to do or how to cope? Feeling like you just wanted to give up (not in a literal sense) but just really wanted to put down your boxing gloves and forfeit the fight?
In life we're going to be faced with tests, trials, and tribulations that will help shape us into the people we are to be in the future. We question why is it that we have to suffer, or why everything seems to go wrong, it's like we want the rainbow without the storm, and life simply doesn't work like that. As cliche as it may sound everything does happen for a reason, and everything in life has a balance. There's a good and an evil, a right and a wrong, it's all part of life.
We're all going to face some kind of suffering during our life time and in the end it's not what you go through but how you grow through the situation. When something goes wrong in life you have to equip yourself with the right attitude to help you get through those hard times. When life is squeezing so tight that you can't breathe you have to squeeze back and not crumble under it all. The happiness you seek can very well be in your grasp if you just changed your thought process. Not an easy task, and it won't happen over night, but gradually you have to make an effort to be more positive. For example, don't focus on how much you hate your job, instead be thankful that you even have one. If you're tired of living with someone be thankful that you're not homeless, because for some it's reality.
Happiness is not a luxury, anyone no matter race or class can obtain happiness. You have to appreciate and recognize the small things in life and go from there. Don't jeopardize your sanity because somebody has the car or house, or the job you want. Focus on your happiness and instead of becoming a victim of circumstance be a survivor, and maybe one day your story can be inspiration to others.
In life we're going to be faced with tests, trials, and tribulations that will help shape us into the people we are to be in the future. We question why is it that we have to suffer, or why everything seems to go wrong, it's like we want the rainbow without the storm, and life simply doesn't work like that. As cliche as it may sound everything does happen for a reason, and everything in life has a balance. There's a good and an evil, a right and a wrong, it's all part of life.
We're all going to face some kind of suffering during our life time and in the end it's not what you go through but how you grow through the situation. When something goes wrong in life you have to equip yourself with the right attitude to help you get through those hard times. When life is squeezing so tight that you can't breathe you have to squeeze back and not crumble under it all. The happiness you seek can very well be in your grasp if you just changed your thought process. Not an easy task, and it won't happen over night, but gradually you have to make an effort to be more positive. For example, don't focus on how much you hate your job, instead be thankful that you even have one. If you're tired of living with someone be thankful that you're not homeless, because for some it's reality.
Happiness is not a luxury, anyone no matter race or class can obtain happiness. You have to appreciate and recognize the small things in life and go from there. Don't jeopardize your sanity because somebody has the car or house, or the job you want. Focus on your happiness and instead of becoming a victim of circumstance be a survivor, and maybe one day your story can be inspiration to others.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Expect What You Accept
As a Black woman you are pretty much told from day one that your chances at finding a good Black man are slim to none. We are thrown depressing statistics about the percentages of Black men who are either gay, incarcerated, dating white women, or whatever other crazy factor you can think of, to deter us from seeking what we truly deserve, the right man. Although these factors hold some truths we cannot let this cause us to settle for less. I've noticed many Black women being content with sharing a man, settling for one who doesn't meet their standards, basically accepting whatever from fear of becoming an old lonely spinster.
We've all been in situations where we pondered how many baby mother's are too many, or if he's been locked up, which crimes you can look past (I kid) or even if he isn't doing anything with his life well at LEAST he's trying....right? WRONG. In my opinion if you don't have your life situated or can't bring anything to the table in a relationship, then you need to be single. If your life is a mess, then don't drag someone else into your mess. This goes for men and women. How can you focus on someone else if your life isn't even in order?
When you get involved with someone that doesn't meet the requirements you are looking for, don't expect them to change for you. Don't be surprised when you get what you see.When you accept less then don't expect more from your partner who you've basically given the okay to leave you disappointed.Granted nobody wants to be alone, you cannot settle and then get mad at the person you've settled for, for not changing into the person you wanted them to be.
Whenever I read or hear about how statistically because I am a college educated Black woman I am even more prone to being single for the rest of my life, the saying "The devil is a lie," comes to mind. I am trusting in the Lord to send the right man in my life. Statistics are against me but when the Lord is for me can they really be against me? My answer is NO. We must not allow statistics to cause us to accept anything less than the best. It's what you deserve, trust me, and until you realize that you will always be disappointed and searching for more. Expect What You Accept. Until next time, stay blessed :)
We've all been in situations where we pondered how many baby mother's are too many, or if he's been locked up, which crimes you can look past (I kid) or even if he isn't doing anything with his life well at LEAST he's trying....right? WRONG. In my opinion if you don't have your life situated or can't bring anything to the table in a relationship, then you need to be single. If your life is a mess, then don't drag someone else into your mess. This goes for men and women. How can you focus on someone else if your life isn't even in order?
When you get involved with someone that doesn't meet the requirements you are looking for, don't expect them to change for you. Don't be surprised when you get what you see.When you accept less then don't expect more from your partner who you've basically given the okay to leave you disappointed.Granted nobody wants to be alone, you cannot settle and then get mad at the person you've settled for, for not changing into the person you wanted them to be.
Whenever I read or hear about how statistically because I am a college educated Black woman I am even more prone to being single for the rest of my life, the saying "The devil is a lie," comes to mind. I am trusting in the Lord to send the right man in my life. Statistics are against me but when the Lord is for me can they really be against me? My answer is NO. We must not allow statistics to cause us to accept anything less than the best. It's what you deserve, trust me, and until you realize that you will always be disappointed and searching for more. Expect What You Accept. Until next time, stay blessed :)
The Lord's Time vs Your Own
Through the busy hustle&bustle of everyday life, we seek and hope to gain whatever it is that we are looking for. From that dream job, to that new place or even that perfect man or woman. We get on our knees and we pray, asking (sometimes begging) the Lord to bless us RIGHT NOW. Albeit, patience is a virtue that we all may seek, but many fail to possess. I confess that I am guilty of being impatient. What we fail to realize is that we are on God's time, not the other way around. Just because you pray for something does not mean you're going to get it or that you were meant to get it, or even prepared to get it.
We sit back and wait, hope and pray for a blessing that probably belongs to someone else. We even look for blatant signs, being impatient and not fully trusting in the Lord. You ever heard someone say " I have faith, BUT...." There is no BUT, if you have faith, then possess it and trust in the Lord that he will provide exactly what you need. Maybe not your wants, because sometimes we can't correlate the difference between a need and a want. But if you put your full trust and faith in the Lord, he will not let you down.
I can remember getting on my knees in the middle of the night and asking the Lord for whatever it is that I wanted at that moment, and still worrying when I laid my head to rest. Worrying completely defeats the purpose of prayer. You pray to strengthen your relationship, trust and faith in the Lord, and by worrying after a prayer you basically prayed in vain. Ever heard the saying " If you're going to pray don't worry, if you're going to worry don't pray?" You have to choose which position you're going to take when you are faced with a problem, you can either be a worry-er, or a praying warrior. Letting your problems see how BIG your God is and not the other way around. I guess we are used to everything in life having a time frame i.e, your bill is due on the 15th of August or you have one week until your paper is due. God doesn't work on man's time, WE are on borrowed time in this life, and now is the time to stay prayed up and have faith to know that if you get on your knees and ask for something, you're either going to get that blessing, or an even better one is waiting for you.
If you ask for something and do not get it, it's not the end of the world, just a new beginning to seek what you need and not what you want. Know and trust that you will be provided for and that unlike man, you can always count on God. We may fall short, but the Lord is always there to pick us up. Keep the faith&stay blessed, until next time :)
We sit back and wait, hope and pray for a blessing that probably belongs to someone else. We even look for blatant signs, being impatient and not fully trusting in the Lord. You ever heard someone say " I have faith, BUT...." There is no BUT, if you have faith, then possess it and trust in the Lord that he will provide exactly what you need. Maybe not your wants, because sometimes we can't correlate the difference between a need and a want. But if you put your full trust and faith in the Lord, he will not let you down.
I can remember getting on my knees in the middle of the night and asking the Lord for whatever it is that I wanted at that moment, and still worrying when I laid my head to rest. Worrying completely defeats the purpose of prayer. You pray to strengthen your relationship, trust and faith in the Lord, and by worrying after a prayer you basically prayed in vain. Ever heard the saying " If you're going to pray don't worry, if you're going to worry don't pray?" You have to choose which position you're going to take when you are faced with a problem, you can either be a worry-er, or a praying warrior. Letting your problems see how BIG your God is and not the other way around. I guess we are used to everything in life having a time frame i.e, your bill is due on the 15th of August or you have one week until your paper is due. God doesn't work on man's time, WE are on borrowed time in this life, and now is the time to stay prayed up and have faith to know that if you get on your knees and ask for something, you're either going to get that blessing, or an even better one is waiting for you.
If you ask for something and do not get it, it's not the end of the world, just a new beginning to seek what you need and not what you want. Know and trust that you will be provided for and that unlike man, you can always count on God. We may fall short, but the Lord is always there to pick us up. Keep the faith&stay blessed, until next time :)
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