As I make my way to work, I pop in my all time favorite Neo Soul Crooner Raheem Devaughn’s newest CD, The Love and War Masterpeace. His soulful sexy voice eases my mind, takes me to a place of calm. I roll my windows down allowing the sun to kiss my skin and summer breeze to make its way into my vehicle. I immediately change the CD player to track number six, Mr. Right. I absolutely love this song, the topic of a Mr. Right always seem to dominate the conversations I have with my girlfriends whenever we have girl talk. What is a Mr. Right? What qualities will he possess? When will we meet him? All questions we raise as we joke and toy with the idea. Surely we aren’t psychics and can’t foretell when we’ll meet Mr. Right, but we all have an idea of the qualities we find ideal in a man.
We agreed that maybe a time or two we thought we met our Mr. Right, but he ended up turning into Mr. Right now. You know, that guy who isn’t exactly Mr. Right, but he’ll do. Even though Mr. Right Now fills a void, he doesn’t have all the characteristics you want in a long time partner. I mean yeah you don’t like the fact that he smokes, or that he doesn’t believe in marriage, or that his life seems to be all over the place, but he holds you at night. He may not even be consistent in his pursuit with you, but he gives just enough to hold you over. He compliments you, but never really takes the time to get to know your inner beauty. Mr. Right Now provides temporary satisfaction to a long term need, and in the end will always leave you unsatisfied, wanting more.
Mr. Right is ultimately the man of your dreams. He isn’t perfect, but the things you don’t like about him aren’t deal breakers. You can deal with the fact that he’s a little messy, or that he doesn’t put the toilet seat down when he’s finished. Even though he has small things that sometimes get under your skin, who he is as a person outshines those flaws. Mr. Right is the guy who you can see yourself marrying, and he differs from Mr. Right Now, because of that. Mr. Right, treats you like he sees a future with you, he includes you in his life and makes it clear that he wants to be with you. Mr. Right does not leaving you guessing if he’s into you, you’ll know because it will show.
In your lifetime you will meet plenty of guys, the challenge will be determining if he is a Mr. Right, or a Mr. Right Now. Below are some signs to look for that can indicate if he is a Mr. Right Now:
Your Long Term Goals Aren’t Compatible
You want a family, but he doesn’t want any children. You want to get married one day, but he doesn’t believe in marriage. You want your man to be a Christian, but he’s atheist. With Mr. Right Now, the major qualities that you want your future husband to possess, he lacks. His wants and your wants do not match up and down the road they can prove to be deal breakers and cause your relationship to end. Getting involved with a Mr. Right Now and waiting for him to change into Mr. Right, is risky.
You’re Always Wanting More
The fact that Mr. Right Now doesn’t have all the qualities you want in a mate, leaves you unsatisfied. You complain and nag about the things that he lacks, but you knew what he was about when you met him. Don’t accept less, and then expect more. People do change, but on their own terms and time. If you know you’re the kind of woman that wants a man that can afford a certain life style, don’t date a guy making minimum wage and then complain that he’s not making enough. My point is, know what you’re looking for, know what you’ll accept and can live with, it’ll save you a lot of headache down the road.
He’s Not Serious
Mr. Right Now will treat you like you’re his Mrs. Right Now, meaning he won’t truly invest in your relationship. Relationships take time, commitment and effort from both partners and it will not work without these essentials. If he doesn’t show sincere concern about the direction your relationship is heading in, then he’s not serious. If he’s always too busy or has an excuse for every little thing, then he’s not serious. If ever a problem arises and he’s not ready to compromise and make the necessary sacrifices that will help your relationship work, then he’s not serious.
He Doesn’t Mention You in His Future
If a man is serious about your relationship going the distance, he’ll verbalize these feelings. If he doesn’t mention you in his future plans, then there’s a good chance that you aren’t included in them. When a man is dedicated in a relationship, he’ll communicate it verbally and reinforce it with action. Mr. Right acquires many characteristics that set him apart from Mr. Right Now, one evident characteristic being that he has longevity. Mr. Right invests in the relationship, in order to ensure that it lasts. Mr. Right Now is a temporary fixture and therefore he doesn’t have a reason to think about the future.
Ladies, in the end you’re going to have to determine what you want and need in a man. Weeding out the good guys from the bad is not an easy task. First you have to figure out what you like, before you can seek it. You have to assess what you will and will not put up with in a relationship, and know your stance on the qualities you’re willing to bend on, and the ones that will prove to be deal breakers. Before you devote your time, love, and energy into a man get to know him, find out if he’s truly right for you, because if he isn’t time will tell. Trust me when I say, you deserve all the love and attention your real Mr. Right will give, once he finds you.
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